I know you were expecting an audio letter this week, but I don’t feel comfortable talking. They’re listening. They’re all listening, and I’m afraid something will happen if they hear what I have to say. The camp counselors have Lost. Their. Minds. I’m not sure it’s just the counselors either. There’s some real House of Leaves s**t going on around here. There are whispers of tainted sloppy joes, aliens posing as Canadians, cats and dogs living together.
If you don’t hear from me again, please contact the authorities.
P.S. I have a bad rash.
P.S.S. I want to come home.